Turkmentoddler

is really a more evolved dictator than his predecessor Turkmenbaby. Although still wildly unpredictable, impervious to reason, prone to rage, and the undisputed chief of his domain, he has discovered newfound reward in tossing the proverbial crumb to his subjects in the form of cheerios, toothy grins, drool-filled kisses, and what have you.

He is also much happier having learned the language of the people, as he is now able to bark "UP!" "MINE!" "HOLD!" "DRIVE!" "NO!" "DOWN!" "MOM!" "YUCK!" "EAT!" "CUP!" "ZILCH!" "DONE!" and so on to infinity, and his wishes are largely understood and obeyed. Marching in circles around the kitchen while banging a pot has also helped relieve some repressed energy.

As long as it is clear who sits in the throne, there is little trouble in the young state of Turkmentoddlerstan.