Fred Ed

One of the really great things and really frustrating things about having a six month-old is watching him start to learn to do new things. Freddy's learning by leaps and bounds, but some things still totally frustrate him. He can't crawl yet, and he's not going to do more than babble for a while yet, but here are a few smaller milestones we've been marking for Frederick in the meantime:

Here is Freddy studying for the bar with his dad. The results wont' be back for another month, but--unlike his father--Frederick feels really confident at this point.

Once he's admitted to the bar, Freddy will have to learn to make a good martini, so here he is with his first how-to book on mixology. It's called "Baby, mix me a drink," and was a very thoughtful present from friends who knew what a great help this would be in Freddy's education before he was even born:

This is actually just a picture of Freddy sitting in his mom's lap, but for some reason it looks to me like he's belly up to the bar, so I'm putting it here. Can't you just hear him asking, "you gonna order a drink, or do I have to start charging you rent for that stool, pal?"

Here Freddy's learning some more traditional baby stuff:

First, sitting in his new high-chair:

Eating solid foods. The kid loves peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, and any type of pureed fruit he can get his chompers on. He gets one bite down and then just sits with his mouth open until the next can be shoveled in by his none-too-quick father.

This is what happens after eating solid foods: burping. Otherwise the same thing that happens after nursing happens: puking on mom and dad. Only with carrots and peas. Yuk.

And to wash it down: SIPPY CUP!!! He actually likes throwing it more than drinking from it, but whatever the case, it's a favorite:

This is Freddy's current favorite book: it's called In the Tall, Tall Grass. Some people consider it nothing but a piece of blatant caterpillar propaganda, but considers it as one of the more important political tracts in existence for children under a year old.

Finally, this is Freddy trying on new gear in preparation for going to the beach for the first time this August. He has matching swim trunks to go with the hat, with a built in diaper. Yeah, built-in diapers are nasty, but consider the alternatives...

What the kids are doing these days

Now that Freddy's starting to emerge from newborn-dom, we can see some of his early predilections starting to emerge. It's interesting to see how he's already learning a lot about social trends and consumer culture.

Exhibit One: note how naturally he takes to repose in a soothing bath. Give him a cigar, some brandy, and outfit that baby tub with some Jacuzzi jets and he's good to go.

Exhibit Two: Like many kids, Freddy's already bcoming devoted to name-brand apparel. Here he is grabbing Dad's 15 year-old Nike soccer sandal. I swear, no matter what it is, if you put a swoosh on it the kids just go crazy.

Exhibit Three: Freddy discovers the remote control!


Exhibit Four: CELL PHONE!!! (with cutting-edge No Tooth technology)


Exhibit Five: Freddy learns that this particular remote has no batteries in it, his parents only want him to watch PBS, and that stupid cell phone is apparently out of minutes!! Grrrrrrrr!!!

The Cost of Celebrity

Freddy's blog has brought him close to his many admirers the internet world over, but it has also changed his life in innumerable ways. He's not the anonymous baby he used to be.

One example of how celebrity has affected him: the coast-to-coast flights are exhausting:

Also, there's the rigors of staying in shape (baby curls, shown here, are the latest trend):

Then there's the constant need to watch your diet. As you can see, like most celebrities these days, Freddy's got a nutritionist who looks to all his dietary needs:

All the book and movie deals people offer are another of the many burdens of fame. Freddy tries to consider them all but, as you can see, it's quite overwhelming:

Finally, there's the paparazzi. Ubiquitous. Not much you can do except try not to rise to the bait. Sometimes it's impossible. Get that thing out of my face!

I suppose all a child star can do is try to relax and take it all in stride. The spa is a good place to get away. Here's Freddy soaking out the stress at one of Greensboro's more exclusive spots:

On the top of the list

of things we never dreamed we'd allow into our house, much less PURCHASE with our own money, is this enormous plastic noisemaking contraption that is only slightly smaller than our car, also known as Fort Surrogate Parent.

How the mighty have fallen, and how far and quickly and shamelessly. Even Frederick seems a bit baffled.