By the way

Our friend David Nahm was over today and mentioned that Freddy's looking a bit like Peter Lorre these days. And I think we have to agree.

Three Month Birthday

At three months old, lots of things become easier for the infant -- holding up his head, using his hands, outlining for his federal jurisdiction exam, but among all the developmental milestones for Freddy, beginning to laugh has been his parents' favorite so far. Of course, there is such a thing as giggling TOO hard. Check out the boy in action . . .

Where Has Turkmenbaby Gone?

I suppose it's happened before. Even the most extreme and ruthless of tyrants can get soft in their old age: Yasser Arafat, Muammar Khaddfi, Kevin Federline. Turkmenbaby joins their ranks these last few weeks, showing an almost sweet and humane side by often sleeping through the night and making irresistable cooing sounds and goo-goo eyes at his family members. Maybe it was prompted by the humiliation of losing all the hair on one side of his head while the other side continues to flourish. Who knows. Nevertheless, regard him here on his throne, angelic and composed.





And here with GranJan, overseeing the Easter festivities.





And here, enduring a ridiculous hat.













And it even turns out it's fun to share. Here he is during his ball of a playdate with the very handsome young Jacob Boyer.



In fact, so moved by this transformation, Turkmenbaby now wants to spread the amazing news to the world that people CAN change. Freddy, you are an inspiration.

My Two Men

I mean really. Is there anything cuter?

Celebrating the Old Lady's Birthday

Turkmen's Mama turned 30 (gulp) yesterday, and his excellency celebrated the affair with a rousing game of hide and seek and some very grown-up behavior of his own, like making a fast break during his evening tummy time and sleeping in his crib (in his new birkenstock-esque brace - we're so proud that he'll fit right in at Weaver Street Market!) with a complete disregard for the laws of gravity, which apparently have no jurisdiction in Turkmenbabystan.

Turkmenbaby family get-together

This past week Turkmenbaby went to visit relatives in the provinces (a distant, backwards part of the realm known as "Greensboro").

Here he is meeting his long-lost Uncle Charlie. Charlie was kidnapped by rogue classical liberal economists from a rival state and held captive in Cambridge, Mass. for the first two months of Turkmenbaby's reign. But he finally escaped the free-market Gulag (known as "Harvard," but also referred to as "The Yard"...chilling to even think about it!) and travelled hundreds of miles to see Turkmenbaby:

And here's Turkmengbaby with his Uncle Charlie and GranJan, rooting on the Tar Heels (in the first half, alas).

Turkmenbaby likes to play games at family get-togethers, but he's not a very good sport. He's easily exhausted and when he gets tired he cries a lot. But, as you can see, as long as everyone lets him think he's in charge, he's easily placated:

Here he is posing with another member of the clan, a distant cousin from the Northern reaches of Turkmenbabystan: And with GranJan again. He's thinking of renaming October for her, but only if she helps convince his parents to let him wear green pants more often:

Turkmenbaby thinks Will Smith was right: parents just don't understand:

A Day in the Life of a Dictator

Early in the morning, wake up ready to impose your will:

Soon after: have your servants dress you in your imperial loincloth and headdress:

Late morning: Ponder the havoc you will soon wreak:

Mid-day: find a lowly soul upon whom to shower your capricious anger. Preferably from among the truly downtrodden and pathetic. Yes, this one will do:

Early afternoon: bask in glee at the trail of destruction you have left in your wake this day:

Late afternoon: take a dictatorial powder. Sleep with one eye open if you can.

Early evening: rouse your lazy minions, who no doubt have grown fat and lazy while you rested, and force them back to work. This is a dictatorship, not a retirement home, people!!

Before Bed: have your servants lift you high so that you may worship the only being you recognize as being above you, your one true deity: the Great Ceiling Fan! Behold the awesome spectacle of Turkmenbaby at worship:

Go to bed, absouletly astonished that the world community has not yet recognized your genius and leadership with a Nobel Peace Prize:

The Lap of Luxury

Turkmenbaby received a visitor this week: his aunt Jennie (aka his excellency's lady-pillow). As you can see, the visit started off famously:

But then things took a turn for the worse. Turkmenbaby suspected Aunt Jennie of joining in a suspected cabal of local dissidents bent on forcing his Excellency to "sleep" for hours without interruption. A simple-minded ruse, but one that infuriated his Excellency. Below you can witness Turkmenbaby unleashing his wrath upon the conspirators:

Turkmen Package

Each Spring, his Excellency Turkmenbaby takes a warm mineral bath in the imperial wash basin. He allows himself to be bathed by a common maid and holds a ceremonial display of the family jewels of Turkmenbabystan. As you can see, the show of opulence is quite breathtaking.

Turkmenbaby's New Clothes

Remember how the Emperor allowed himself to be flattered into appearing in public naked? Well, it seems some clever residents of Turkmenbabystan convinced Turkmenbaby that wearing this amiable onesie made him look more imposing and dictatorial, when in fact--as you can see--it affords the populace a view of their terrrible leader at his most harmless. The happy result of these hijinks? To everyone's great surprise, smiles abound!!!















And there was much rejoicing in Turkmenbabystan.

Parenthood

Lest there be any doubt regarding the merits of grandparenting.

Tummy Time

Freddy wants to know: Does my big butt make my butt look big?